Welcome to the Uncyclopedia! If you're here, you've probably found us through some blog, or other variety site, and have stumbled on to the Main Page with the intent of contributing to our giant mass of misinformation to add to the even larger mass of porn and other misinformation called the Internet. If not, then you've been sent here by an admin for an error in judgment or lack of sanity. Either way, we're glad you're here and reading this.Here is yet another fraction of one of the post describing its purpose.
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Here are some pure nonsense on its page on India. Here are some hilarious facts about India (Courtesy: Uncyclopedia)
- Everyone in India is born computer genius superior to any other loser race on this planet (Mars). They all can do calculus before thay can speak, and thanks to Hinduism, even drinking urine increases their intellectual prowess
- As India was too large, it was divided into pieces in 1907 to help the people to fight with each other in an organized way and pretend that their backwardness is not as important as their need to fight. There are probably 50 states, since that's how many former British colonies are supposed to have.
- Indian religions have a rich tradition of innovative rituals. A tradition continued till the present day. As a part of recruiting people to their religions, the religious officials were under pressure from the saints to promote new ritual gimmicks. The louder and more aggressive the ritual the bigger the following.
The people of India used to be very civilized until they got bored of it. Then, some Europeans saw India and decided they wanted it. When the Queen heard them whine for it, she decided it was ok for them to have it if they would fight the French. Then, one very old bald man said that we must not fight for independence. That will confuse the British. This Reverse Psychology worked as the British got confused and left.
Until the population of India exploded, India was a country where each person was allotted 5 square feet of space for living. Even as the government was waiting for the population to stop growing, it kept growing and exploded which led to lot of loans to develop infrastructure. As of January 1, 2001, the number of people in India exceeded the number of gods they prayed to. This led to a request for creation of more Gods, whose temples were constructed with the help of a loan of $20 million from the World Bank.
The population explosion is the most lethal of a notorious pair of Indian weapons of mass destruction, the other being the “peaceful nuclear explosions” which replaced the bow-and-arrow with many tests being conducted from 1974 onward. The original Canadian-language documents which served as the basis for the first Indian atomic bombs may be viewed during tourist season at the Mahatma Gandhi memorial World Peace and Nuclear Explosions theme park in downtown New Cleveland.
- It is not sure which came first in india, Sport or Rioting. Most countrys just play sport so rioting become the national sport instead of Sport becoming the national riot(althoug it is still the national reason 2 riot). Although their is emerging evidence that rioting was conceived one day when a little girl at the criket (a game played all day outside in the midddle of summer for up to five days,WTF?)whos popsicle metled turned suicidal. Thus now everytime a cricket game is finished everyone must riot and burn down a stand. ,This also keeps the bigilion people in the country employed. Someone cuts you off in peak hour. Start a riot. Caught in a long cue?. Start a riot its un-indian not to start a riot.Pakistan is india's long time rival for rioting. A year long competition is held between the countrys called the kashmir cup.
Are movies made in Bollywood a province in southern Waziristan. Bollywood is said to the second biggest producer of films in universe right after Azerbaijan. Indian films are know for being in Hindi and having random and totally unrelated music video clips. These music video clips is the only way to show sex in these movies without getting Adult rating. Indian movie directors always try to get the worst actors possible to play the roles. The plots are usually revealed in the first 15 seconds. The speciality of these movies is that they are made ot last 4 hours.
In these 4 hours, any/all of the following will happen:
- The heroine will get raped by the villain
- The hero will be reduced to wearing nothing but short shorts and a torn, black west
- The heroine will be made to dance in front of the villain's stooges
- You will use whatever little of that brain you have and walk out of the cinema hall
India and Yahoo
If you are interested in meeting and indial wife, perhaps you should try Yahoo chat? Many indian women go on yahoo messenger in the hope of finding a spiffing young lad for their bedroom.
The male indians tend to ask odd questions. Its almost as if indians are too cheap to buy plane tickets to come find out about your land, so instead they will ask you what colour your underpants are and what brand of toothpaste you use via yahoo.
Beware, they will kick your dog!